Blog on Mental Health

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Before writing anything I just want to clarify that I am no expert. I am a nobody. I am here to write about how I am feeling. Recently discovered that I have mental health issues that have been ignored for quite some time now I was feeling overwhelmed and have decided to write them down.

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I already had this website for long now. I thought why not make use of it. I have seen people writing about their lives, video blogs of their life. I am not here for pity. I am just trying to get in touch with my emotions. I have heard that talking about your stuff helps. I have resorted to talking to strangers because I felt most comfortable in doing that. I am not here for subscribers or readers. This is just for clarification of my own mind. I will be honest with everyone. I don’t know how it turns out. This might turn out to be nothing which is what I am expecting out of it. If you read this and you think I have issues let me know. It really helps me to know what a level headed person thinks. I don’t know what I am feeling. Quite blank most of the time.

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Physically it seems alright. Mentally it seems alright. But sad as well. Angry as well. Loads of things mixed up maybe or nothing at all maybe. I don’t know how to measure these things. I don’t usually have opinion on certain things because I don’t know what to think. It is blank and it is all mixed up at the same time.

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After advice from a friend I have started counselling. I will be writing about my counselling mostly. I have had my first session already. It was exhausting. It was tiring. It was the most exhilarating experience of my life. I felt like eating tons of ice cream after it.

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Yes, I think I have eating issues too. I make excuses to feel sad so that I can trick myself into thinking that I need food. How cool is that? huh. Such a fucker. I hate it. So much guilt is followed. I don’t know how to stop myself from eating tons. I eat until my stomach hurts. I need help. I am taking help but I have been told that it is not a quick fix. Which sucks. I wish it was though.

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I don’t have time. I have all the time in the world too. This is a stupid idea maybe. Some of my friends do know about this site. If they come to read this I don’t know what I will do. I don’t want to tell them. I don’t want to tell anybody but strangers. Strangers that can help. If you can help please comment. I will get back to you. Do it only if you really really really want to. I don’t want to get into help and feel like a burden. That is a shit feeling. Thanks for reading. I am feeling particularly low right now so this article may seem rude or careless. Really sorry about that.

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